Breaking News: "Retiring" is now "Refocusing"
Time to ditch that other "R-word" for a label that truly describes your destiny!
People have all kinds of thoughts about Retirement. Some dread being put out to pasture and forfeiting title, position, and paycheck. Others are counting the days until freedom rings—just not as an alarm clock at 6 a.m. Either way, how we think about post-professional life shapes our perception of what comes next.
As I’ve stated before, every Retirement experience is different, as unique as the individuals who enter that hallowed ground. But the very use of the term “Retirement” is heavy with connotations—most of them not good. But all that can change when you reshape how you think about what comes next.
Rebranding
In the final year of my career, when it was common knowledge at the office that my departure was imminent, I began an ad hoc rebranding campaign. It was important to me that younger people reform their notion of what it means to “retire.” Step one was to help them refactor their mental model of post-employment possibilities.
I coined “Refocusing” as the best alternative to the other “R” word. In every conversation where my departure surfaced, I would gently “talk over” that other word using my preferred verb in its place:
“I’m Refocusing, not Retiring,” I would say with a smile.
They would invariably smile back, though their thought bubbles betrayed them (“Poor old geezer!”). Nonetheless, the concept of Refocusing had legs, and I was determined to see that it ran swiftly into the cultural lexicon. To this day, when I speak or write about post-work life, I emphasize Refocusing.
Words matter
Let’s face it: We live in a culture that worships youth, vigor, and the gaseous notion of being “forever young.” Of course, time eventually catches up with all of us, and we’re forced to abandon such tripe. But, such thinking does leave an imprint on our souls. Ask an 80-year-old geezer sitting on a park bench about their age. You might hear a response like this:
“Well, my body is 80, but my mind is still 18!”
Perceptions die hard. And so do the silly words that prop them up. So, to my point, we must erase the word “Retirement” and its psychic imprint, too.
But how?
Start here
The first step in any rebranding campaign is to present the new ideal as irresistibly appealing. In the case of Refocusing, we talk about reallocating time to long-deferred interests and opportunities that fulfill us in ways the 9-to-5 grind will not and Retirement cannot. Top of the list might be spending more time with your spouse. And, if you’re not married, you now have ample time to rectify that situation!
The How and Why of Refocusing
My wife used to spend lunchtimes with me when I was working. As often as her schedule permitted, she would swing by the office, pick me up, and head for one of our secret lunch spots: Back Bay in Newport Beach, the shady spot near Lakeside Café, and the picnic benches at Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa.
Those lunchtimes were absolute life-savers for me. They broke the spell of workplace politics, tensions, and deadlines that sap the life out of us over time. I’m convinced my life span was extended because of lunch hours spent with my wife during those long, bleak dog days before what came next.
REFOCUSING TIP 1: It’s no longer “lunch hour.” The boss is not standing by the clock-in turnstile tapping his foot. Go early and stay waaay late! Spend lunchtime with your spouse and enjoy it.
Vacations were problematic for us in this way: I had plenty of vacation days allotted (in the years after we were married), but jumping out of the cauldron at work was made difficult by the pace and demand for production. Sure, my teammates would pick up the slack, but they already had full-time duties.
And then there were the little curveballs tossed at you upon returning from vacation. One time, I came back to the office refreshed and ready to go, only to discover that I had gained additional staff while away. And not a resource I would have hired if left to my own devices.
Talk about a disincentive to using your vacation days!
REFOCUSING TIP 2: Remember that you have no hard return date to deal with now. Ditch the two-weeks yoke, my friend! Hit the road with your spouse and don’t come back till you want to.
When I jumped out of the workforce, the Agile Transformation was in full swing. Being “Agile” was the holy grail of every development team and the personal aspiration of every developer. Agile doctrine is all very sensible and certainly heads-and-tails superior to legacy “waterfall” development methodology. But, at the boots on the ground level, it amounts to this:
FASTER, FASTER, FASTER!
MORE, BETTER, QUICKER!
AGAIN, AGAIN, AGAIN!
Before they jump you into The Gang, the blood oath you take to become an Agile Disciple is all good. But upon the jumping-out end of the matter, Agile has taken control of your soul like a religious cult, so you’ll never rat out The Gang!
And that’s a problem when Refocusing because your spouse doesn’t care about The Gang!
REFOCUSING TIP 3: Life does not have to snap into an Agile iteration development cadence. Replanting the daisies on the front hill can be done tomorrow. Or next week if heading to Chick-fil-A for an ice cream cone is the more urgent matter.
This is your Time
If you’re on the glide path to Refocusing or have recently landed, take these tips to heart. But, also develop some new maxims of your own. Then, put them into action in your own life for a much happier experience during what comes next.
Good luck!
R. Kays (Refocusing/Refocused)
You said it! Refocusing is an attitude adjustment. Seek peace and serenity. The “honey doos” can drive your crazy too, so your spouse needs to be on board with this slower paced lifestyle. Volunteer work is noble, but can consume you like a real job, set boundaries for yourself and others who place demands on your time.
I like the refocusing concept.
If you progress in life that means that you move, probably in a physical way too, but certainly in a psychic and maybe spiritual way. When you are in a different place, you should enjoy refocusing from the new perspective. See the new opportunities for truth and joy.