It was a gentle verbal prodding underlying a general parental objective. “Try to be good,” my Dad would say with a smile. As his delivery was benevolent, I took note but the question lingered:
How do I DO “Try to be good?”
I’m still working out the answer, which seems as elusive in adulthood as in childhood—one of life’s great puzzles.
When I was younger
A long time ago, I wanted to be a “good boy” to please my parents and have an easier time than the “bad boys” in the neighborhood. And there were a few of those.
Little did I know that every kid in my neighborhood was grappling to interpret some variant of my Dad’s nebulous phrase as presented by their parents. And they were equally puzzled.
When boys were boys
In the 1960s and 1970s, being a boy was different than it is now. The outdoors beckoned and often we were away from our parents’ homes for hours on end. We played Army at The Creek, Block Tag within the footprint of our block-square neighborhood, and whatever sport was in season at nearby Macy Schoolyard.
Every day we ate like a pack of wild dogs but burned off every calorie before sundown. We rode everywhere on our Schwinn Stingrays with banana seats, chopper-style handlebars, and slick back tires. We weren’t fat and didn’t paint our nails in the 20th century.
But we were sweaty, dirty, noisy, raucous, little rapscallions, ever in motion, and hard to corral at sundown. Homework was negotiated in our spare time—unless Mom and Dad caught wind of our negligence, typically at Report Card Time. After receiving our just desserts, we shaped up for a time—what with playing Little League Baseball hanging in the balance.
During that era of parenting, Performance was a huge factor in determining life’s outcomes. Kids who conformed fared better than rebellious little hellions. But each of us would have benefited from knowing just how far back in time the problem of “Try to be good” went—and the consequences for missing the mark:
If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.” —Genesis 4:7
God chastened Cain for unacceptable performance resulting from an adverse heart condition. If you know your Bible, you understand that things went completely sideways for Cain after this chat (he murdered his brother and fled into the wilderness, a marked man).
When I was older
Growing up, finishing school, getting a degree, heading into the world of professional work: None of these life changes eliminated the requirement for “Try to be good” in some form or fashion, expectations being what they were.
There were cultural and societal norms to uphold. Opening doors for women was “expected,” as was paying for dinner and the movie while on a date. But girls were now calling boys, Ziggy Stardust had landed, and the brief and ugly Disco era was just over the horizon line.
As the Prophet Dylan foretold, “The times, they were a changin’.”
Meet the Holy Spirit
In retrospect, I now know that I was not walking alone in the years before I became a Christian. During that time, I was aware of an increasing uneasiness when involved with people and pursuits unwholesome or unproductive. Usually, these pursuits involved parties, loud music, and general foolishness.
Conviction of sin is a dead giveaway that the Spirit of God is dealing with you.1 Actions and behaviors never before internally questioned were now an irritating grain of sand in my clammy heart. During this period, you could say my self-constructed world was falling apart, piece by piece.
Once, before a long road trip with The Boys, I called the guy who was driving and asked him not to let anyone in the car drink alcohol while we were rolling down the highway. This was a strangely compelled first for me. Again, the prompting came from without rather than within.
From today’s vantage point, it is shocking to recall that we put ourselves and others in peril like that. But it underscores an important maxim:
“Try to be good” is very difficult when you’re up to no good.
And the Bible says . . .
Once the Holy Spirit convicts an unbeliever of sin and supplies The Answer to that problem (The Savior), it is comparatively easy to understand The Gospel message in its broad strokes:
God created humanity to live forever with Him in a Paradise of worshipful fellowship;
Humanity (all of us) sinned and fell short of God’s glory—which created a problem (utterly Sinful Humanity was separated from a Holy God);
God provided Himself a Lamb—the once-for-all Final Sin Sacrifice on behalf of Guilty Humanity (all of us)—Jesus, is the Lamb of God;
Believing that Jesus is that final Lamb/Sin Sacrifice—and receiving Him as Savior and Lord—is credited to Believers as “Righteousness” (God’s, Righteousness, not our own);
The work of the Holy Spirit is required to transform “unbelieving” to “Believing” as mentioned immediately above;
Believers have become Children of God, born of the Holy Spirit (indwelt by the Spirit), experiencing the Peace of God now, and destined for Eternity with God in a Paradise of worshipful fellowship and holiness.2
The Gospel of Jesus Christ is the only hope for a sin-sick, perverted, violent, upside-down world—and every sinner living in it. And if you’re not there yet, the Holy Spirit is certainly working to persuade you.3
As time goes by
At some point in their walk, every Believer finds that their salvation does not resolve the “Try to be good” problem this side of Heaven. It’s a sobering realization: As long as we live in a body with a sinful nature, there will be internal conflict between the Spirit of God within us and our sinful selfishness.
The Apostle Paul describes the uncomfortable internal war this way:
For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin. For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. . . . For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. —Romans 7:14-20
But, Paul doesn’t leave Believers hanging on the cliff of despair. He provides the answer to every sinner’s dilemma:
O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! —Romans 7:24
And then the Apostle begins the greatest treatise on Freedom ever penned:
There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. — Romans 8:1
The Difference-Maker
On the night before Jesus was crucified, He shared with his closest friends that after His departure, He would send them “another Helper,” the Holy Spirit:
And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. —John 14:16-17
Without Jesus Christ, we are all dead in our trespasses and sins. But, the resurrection power of the Holy Spirit raises us to a new life in Christ. If we call upon the Spirit, He will walk us through life’s trials and temptations from within and without. The indwelling Holy Spirit is the difference-maker in the life of a Believer.
In summary
“Try to be good.” Just don’t try it on your own.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%2016%3A7-9&version=NKJV
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+1%3A12-13&version=NLT
”And when [the Holy Spirit] comes, He will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment:” —John 16:8
Another good read!
Thought fondly about the daily “War” fought on the empty high school campus every summer. (By my freshman year, I knew every hallway roof access and hiding place)
My mom left one word off. There was no “try”.
You are correct that on our own the “do good” part gets left off. Thankful for my salvation, because on my own I am sunk.